Does this sound like you: the last time you were single was pre-high school; you have a date lined up for your next date function two months in advance; you never have no one to text or whisper you sweet nothings. If so, then you might as well face it… you’re addicted to love!
There’s a big difference between liking having in a relationship and liking the idea of a relationship. Good relationships are HARD work! You’d think being in love was all rainbows and butterflies, but like anything in life, that’s not the case. Relationships require constant effort and maintenance. If you pride yourself on a twenty-two boyfriend track record, think back on how many of those were real relationships. Exactly.
Who doesn’t love love? Everyone wants to be loved! But being what some may call a “serial dater” is, well, kind of unhealthy. We all need alone time. Especially in college – the most crucial time in our lives to embrace new attitudes, develop our values, and set us up for the future. If the longest you’ve gone between mates is three weeks, slow down partner! Test yourself. Can you go more than a month without jumping into a relationship? How about two months? Six?
Depending on how long you were with someone and how hard in love you fell, it can take a while to feel back on your own two healthy feet again. You need to wallow. You need to heal. Too often people skip the grieving stage of a beautiful relationship’s death because they don’t want to feel pain or deal with underlying feelings. In reality, your body and mind need that time before they can ever fully move on and embrace the next person with loving and open arms.
An addiction is something that is chronic and compulsive. Addicts keep doing what makes them feel good despite negative consequences and over lengthy periods of time. Even though you knew deep down you weren’t ready for a new commitment, did you still agree to be someone’s girlfriend/boyfriend? Did it feel good and make you happy in the beginning, but as time went on you still felt alone and unfulfilled? That’s a sign that it’s time to take a breather and think about YOU.
Many people get ‘addicted to love’ due to having low self esteem, negative role models, or because of the societal projected image that “everything is better when you’re in a relationship.” Recognize these factors. When you are aware, you can more easily deal with your problems. And remember, you are a unique and beautiful person! Never place your happiness in another’s hands. It is and always will be in your own.