Breaking up with a friend

Breaking up with a friend is sometimes harder than it is when you break up with a significant other – especially hard when it is a friend who has been in your life since you were in diapers. But if there comes a point in your life when a friendship is sucking more life out of you than helping you enjoy life, there needs to be change.

When evaluating if you need to cut off a friend, there are several things in which you should begin with. First think about the relationship – if you called them in the middle of the night, would they come to your side? Would you go to theirs? Sometimes, you are not at that level with someone but that is okay – it just means that you need to make sure there is an equal level of giving and taking in your friendship. It doesn’t have to be all the time, or everyday, but if you find yourself constantly being the one making sacrifices it could be time to sit down and have a talk with your friend.

That is another important part of the friendship – evaluating what your communication is like. Are they constantly bringing you down on your hopes and dreams, or even your day-to-day life? Do they listen to you and provide valuable feedback or do they interject with responses and stories about themselves? Communication is key to every relationship and if it is not at a healthy and balanced level, relationships will begin to suffer and fail.

If you examine the real nuts and bolts of your relationship with a friend and find that they are constantly bringing you down or contributing to the negativity in your life, it could be time to take a step back from your friendship.

It isn’t easy but sometimes it is necessary. Who you surround yourself with is very influential on the kind of person you turn out to be, especially during college. You have so much growing and learning to do and you should surround yourself with friends who are along for the ride, not keeping you down.

Be honest with the friend in which you wish to reevaluate your friendship with. Let them know that you want them to be in your life but that there are aspects of the friendship that aren’t working for you.

It really can feel like a break up to some, but if you approach it correctly, they could understand where you are coming from and offer explanations or reasons for change.

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