Do you follow the money or do you follow the dream?

After 4 years in the real world I still can’t say I know the answer to this question.

I write this to you as I sit on a bus commuting from NJ to NY. During the day, I work as a temporary full time employee (6 month contract, no vacation days, no sick days, no health insurance- mind you I’m 26 and can no longer be on my parents insurance) processing paper work for a fortune 500 company I shall not name and in the evening wondering why?

Rewind back 4 years, I was attending college for journalism. I had heard it was a difficult career path but I thought hey, I like a challenge! I heard it didn’t pay well but l thought hey, I never was the money hungry type anyway. But I didn’t know it’d be nearly impossible. Every journalism related job I interviewed for after graduation paid close to minimum wage to work in the city (wouldn’t even cover my commute, my school loans or general survival) or required 3 to 5 years entry level experience.

With one hand in the front and the other in the back, I was left to this day trying to reconfigure my life after dedicating 4 years of studies to a career that could not provide me any reasonable job opportunities.

So..I decided to go back to school for nursing. My point of studying journalism was because I had always wanted to help people. I wanted a job that would allow me to connect with others and feel like I was contributing to the world everday. I figured nursing would be the perfect alternative. However, I was now living with my boyfriend and had more bills overall now that I was older and on my own. Attending school and going to work simontaneosly was a must. To say it was hard wouldn’t do my experience any justice. But to say a balled like a baby when I handed in my chemistry final would. (Let’s just say there’s nothing like being in your early 20′s and having your only concern be school). I finished the semester with a C- in Anatomy and in Chemistry. I needed a C+ in both classes so that I could get into the nursing program. I failed.

And I failed and I failed again and again in so many other pursuits. This has been my story since graduation. Finding myself trying new methods to find the perfect medium between being financially well and emotionally happy.

Did I choose the wrong major? Would I have been happier if I studied nursing from the beginning? Or had become a lawyer? A psychical therapist? Or a computer programming? I don’t know. I’m not sure that it is actually easy for anyone to find their way really. I’ve come to learn that in so many ways we fall and get back up and that is life.

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