He was very curt with his text messages, which made me think he was the serious type. And I when I met him I realized I was right. He took himself and finding an intelligent woman too seriously, to the point of running me through a gauntlet of political and economic questions rather than questions about who I am. He also brought up on several occasions the results of test scores confirming to him, in some way, that he deserved a woman who’s IQ was commensurate with his.
He talked the entire time and then two bills came. I sat there awkwardly wondering if he would pay. He took his tab, so I took mine. I paid for my own drink.
I didn’t call him again. Call me old-fashioned, but if all I ordered was a drink and no food then the guy should be able to pick that up on the first date.
Another blind date confessed to me on the first date that he was still living with his ex-wife but assured me that because her new boyfriend lives with her it’s really over. She is in a rough patch financially and he’s helping her out until she gets on her feet. I decided to go on a second date with him anyway since he had other redeeming qualities. He continued talking about the failed relationship with his ex-wife and I realized that he had other issues that I didn’t want to deal with.
On a first date it is important to think about what you want the other person to accept about what you want and what’s going on in your life. It’s important not to waste anyone’s time or money when you know there are certain deal breakers you have. But how to express these feelings is of upmost importance.
Be careful with alcohol on a first date. You don’t want to get drunk because that sends the wrong message to the other person, and is a very expensive way to run up the tab if you’re being treated to dinner.
A first date is meant to have fun, get to know the other person, NOT talk about exes, and to see if there is enough initial chemistry to go on a second date. Don’t overthink it. In fact, what may help is writing out a list of questions that you can ask the other person, such as what they do for a living, what they do for fun, how long they have been in the area, what places they’ve traveled to, and what they’re looking for in terms of dating. Take it easy and have fun and you never know what may happen