Friends and Family Don’t Like You

When you date someone you have to accept that you’re not the only person in his or her life, and you may not be liked by all the people they know. But there are some things you can do to either win their affection or at least enough approval to be civil.
1. “Is there any particular reason why they don’t like me?” Sometimes these things aren’t within your control, such as a family member not liking you because of the color of your skin or because they don’t want your partner to spend more time with you than them.
2. “What can I do to get them to like me?” Ask your partner to help you out with this one. Maybe you can have lunch or dinner with your partner and the person who may not like you as a way to show that you care and want them to be part of your life.
3. Don’t put yourself down so they will like you. Sure, it’s always good to be humble, but you don’t have to hide yourself or use self-deprecating humor to earn their approval.
4. Likewise, don’t puff yourself up too much. Don’t try too hard to make this person like you because you may just irritate them.
5. If it’s a legitimate reason why the friend or family member doesn’t like you then ask yourself is it worth looking into yourself and changing to be a better person. Are you not liked because you’re a smoker, dropped out of school, or are inconsiderate? Sometimes when people don’t like us it’s a wake-up call that we are doing something wrong that needs to change. Society says we shouldn’t have to change for others and doing means that you’re putting yourself down. But sometimes it is the very group of people around us that shows us where we can improve ourselves.
6. Treat your partner with love and respect at all times. This seems like a no-brainer, but even when you’re with a group of people and something happens that causes tension between you and your partner, such as him or her dropping something or forgetting something, don’t lash out and cause a scene. Do not give his or her friends or family a desire to be protective. Friends and family want to know their loved ones are in good, caring hands, not overly-dramatic or unsupportive hands.
7. Always show up to parties or get-togethers with something, and ask your partner for suggestions. They enjoyed red wine and I would always bring them a good bottle, or flowers. They appreciated the gestures and knew that I was trying my best to help them see past cultural differences.
Remember, being friendly, pleasant, level-headed, and conflict-free doesn’t mean you have to be fake and agree with your partner’s friends or family. It means that even when there are differences you treat them with respect. It means that you are confident in who you are but don’t need to prove too hard who you are. Hopefully over time your partner’s friends and family will come around and like you.

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