Guy Friend or Boyfriend?

Kaila is going into her senior year of college, studying English, journalism and art. She is going to be Editor-in-Chief of her school’s newspaper starting in the fall, and hopes to get a job at a paper or at a publishing company when she graduates.



A guy friend can be a girl’s greatest asset. You get a great friend who’s less maintenance than your girl friends. They joke around, they fart, they give you tips on what guys want. They keep you grounded, and can be some of your best friends.

But how can you tell when a guy friend is good boyfriend material? Or whether you should make that jump to begin with?

Well, these are tough questions. A lot of people don’t like having friends of the opposite sex because they feel like there’s always some sort of sexual tension there. But that doesn’t have to be true. If your guy friend is truly just a friend, then you’re golden – just make sure he doesn’t secretly have feelings for you.

This might entail drawing lines when joking becomes too flirty, or making your intentions clear. That might mean you need to have a fairly awkward conversation, but if it saves you from a worse situation later, then it’d be worth it.

But what if you’re the one who wants to take things further?

Well, before you decide to take that step, think about whether it’s a good decision. Some guy friends are better off left as just friends. Some make the perfect boyfriend. Pay attention to how he has treated girls in the past, because it’s a good indication of how he will treat you.

Also, think about how he treats people when he’s in a bad mood or mad, because it’s easy to like someone when you only think about their fun side – but both sides are important when in a relationship with someone.

If you’ve decided you want to date them, try to figure out how they feel. It can be tricky to know when a guy friend is just naturally flirty and when he’s genuinely interested in a relationship with you. But if your guy friend seems like your perfect boyfriend material, just be sure about what you want before you tell him. If he doesn’t feel the same way, or if you two try dating and it goes wrong then you might lose your friendship – or at least strain it.

Try flirting a little extra – just little things, like touching his arm or saying he looks nice. If he seems receptive to it, then try flirting a little more. If he seems surprised or resistant, then you might have your answer. Or he might just be nervous and not sure whether you mean it or not – who knows? Boys can be confusing.

Most of all, just try to be honest with yourself and with your guy friend. If you can’t figure it out subtly, then just talk to him about it. If he’s a good friend, and you admit to liking him even if he doesn’t feel the same way, then it might be awkward at first, but you two will get over it.

Have courage, and follow your heart. Because your guy friend might end up being your best friend for life or the love of your life – who’s to say

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