By Amanda Reese
For most people, the relationship is over way before the words are actually said. Maybe you did not know you were at that turning point when it happened, but I promise you can look back and you realize when your relationship starting going down hill. Of coarse, if there was infidelity that was your point and you probably left at that moment. But if that is not the case, what makes us stay?
It’s the familiarity of the relationship that we miss the most, not necessarily the person himself or herself. The routine of being someone’s significant other is apart of us and that is often times hard to let go. The longer you have been with that person, the longer it will be for you to realize that the relationship is dead or dying.
The reality of it is; we are scared. We are scared what someone else will think. We are scared of seeing them happy with someone else. We are scared of getting back out there to date again. We are scared of being a lone for the first in a long time, if ever. What ever it is you are scared of, you are going to have to realize that staying in a dying relationship will hurt you most in the long hall.
If you notice things changing and you don’t exactly know how, take some time out and self-evaluate. So often, we are quick to blame others. Reflection can reveal things about ourselves that we were not aware of before. After all, it takes two to tango and the even if it is small, we take must take some ownership in when things went left.
Even if you say, “Hey, I went through everything and I can’t think of not one thing,” still be absolutely sure you want to walk away. You can’t go back if you break it off because it may seem as if you are unsure and no one wants to be a possibility.
Sit down and think long and hard. Write a list of pros and cons. Make sure the bad outweigh the good before you go. Because if you do go and come back, even if that person was not at fault before, they may now feel as if you will always come back, no matter what they go out and do.
Clearly, all of this is easier said in done. No one wants to throw away relationships that have gone on for years. Keep trying to revive the relationship if you truly believe you two have a chance at making it into something beautiful. Nothing beats a failure but a try.
Sit down and discuss the issues with your partner no matter how small they may seem. Many times people do not express all their problems and therefore they continue to go unresolved.
Both people must receive the conversation with open hearts or nothing will be accomplished. Even if it takes all night, really work for what you want—if that’s to make it work or to let it go.