How to Lower Your Dating Standards

Alexa Johnson

With today’s celebrity-obsessed culture, we live in a narcissist world. Reality television and pricy brand names set our standards high, pushing us to always try and be better than everyone else. It’s no wonder these high standards we set for us in everyday life have carried into our love life.

Setting high expectations can be encouraging. After all, you want to get good grades, finish projects on time, get a good post-grad job, and have fun with your friends and family. But all a standard is is a minimum requirement. When the bar is so high as a minimum, how do you expect yourself to ever reach your goals? If you’re a perfectionist, it can be tricky to train yourself to accept less than perfect. Unless you want to live a life of failure and disappointment, learn to be happy with just trying your best.

Too often college students skip the side of dating because of high standards. If he’s not tall enough, not attractive enough, not funny, talkative, or cool enough, they say ‘nevermind.’ If she has a big nose, a little extra weight or his friends don’t think she’d fit in the crowd, they say ‘see ya.’ Wake up! Nobody’s perfect. And it’s not like you’re committing to marrying them just because you go on one date. You’re young and in college, you have your whole life to test out members of the opposite sex. Don’t pass up that friendly but fat guy that asked you out at the coffeeshop. At least give him one date – you may be surprised!

Remember, someone is probably sizing you up in the same horrible way that you do. Someone out there thinks that you’re “too tall” or “not cool enough” and is looking right past your beautiful smile and personality, too. Ouch, right?

Dating is about having F-U-N. So set yourself this one standard when you’re out on a date: put your best self forward, put your judgments in your pocket, relax an have fun! If this is the only benchmark you have, then if the date goes well, you’ll be happy, and if the date doesn’t go well, you’ll be disappointed but not to the point where you’re beating yourself up over it because YOU followed that standard (which in turn means you’re probably not that sad at all)! It’s a win-win situation.

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