How to tell if you are a rebound

Alexa Johnson

You know what they say: every ending marks a new beginning. But often times, it is mistaken that the ending of a serious relationship marks the beginning of a new serious relationship. Oh, how false that is!

The ending of a once passionate, loving, coulda shoulda woulda been ‘the one’ relationship actually marks the beginning of the dreaded (yet crucial) healing period. The time it takes to get back on your healthy, solo feet is different for everyone – but it’s definitely not overnight. (And if it is, that relationship wasn’t as important to you as you thought!) If you feel the person you just began dating has been exuding some questionable behavior, spare yourself some heartbreak by looking for clues that you are their rebound.

Is your new lover radiating over the top loving behavior? WARNING: you may be their rebound! You know that feeling you get after the first bite into a delicious chocolate cake? How after that one bite all you want is more? People getting out of relationships hold that same needy behavior. Once they feel the dispersal of constantly fueled love, all they want is to get it back. Make sure your new beau isn’t just dating you to just date somebody.

Also use caution if your date is giving off a standoffish, commitment-phobic behavior. This person probably isn’t over their ex yet and is keeping their availability open “just in case” he or she comes back into their life. You may notice that the only time you two really spend together is physical, rather than emotional. This, too, is a sign that this person is not ready to invest in a new relationship.

Speaking of “exes,” has your new date been mentioning his or her’s lately? Bringing up the ex files is inappropriate conversation, especially when you’re just getting to know someone. It is most likely a sign they have not moved on yet. Beware if your date still keeps in contact with their ex. A ‘happy birthday’ or ‘Merry Christmas’ text is fine, but anything more and it’s up to you to decide how you feel about the old lovers’ new found friendship.

So if your new lover’s behavior is making you say “hmm” or something in your gut keeps nagging at you about them, take a step back and analyze the signs. If you’re not looking for a relationship, then hey, just have fun with this person. But if you are, you may want to scream, “next!”

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