Dating Again After a Break-up

Alexa Johnson

“Don’t worry, there will be others,” is the most commonly used phrase we use to soothe our friends (and ourselves) after a rough breakup. Sometimes, it seems like that’ll never come true.

But then we meet someone new, someone different that makes us see things in a beautiful and way better light then before, and POOF! Everything is okay again. Still, how do you know when you are truly ready to stroll back into relationship land after a breakup? What is the appropriate mourning period? How do you know when you’re healed?

Ladies and gentlemen, the answer is… you don’t! There is no specific time period or telltale sign because it’s different for everybody and every relationship is different. Here’s a few cues though…

1. Are you happy being alone doing nothing?
Our world is run on online social networks and a subconscious go-go-go mentality. Believe it or not but being alone, doing absolutely nothing scares a LOT of people.

Why? Because we will always feel like we need to be doing something (especially in college where we’re trained in multi-tasking!). And because doing nothing is “boring” and no one likes feeling lonely! But feeling lonely is just a part of life. You’d be surprised how many things you will find about yourself and your thoughts by meditating. Many of the “lonely” thoughts we experience are just that – thoughts!

2. Has your breakup lasted six months or more?
Many times after a lengthy relationship ends we will keep our exes in our lives (as friends, pff! Who ever came up with that one?!) because it is just too painful to let them go completely. If it’s been over six months since the words “I think we should see other people” have been muttered and you’re still in constant contact with your ex: LET GO! Trust me, you are only hurting yourself by lingering on that love leash. After six months, you are not holding onto the person, but the idea of what you used to have.

3. Are you consciously putting yourself out there?
Are you sitting all alone in your dorm room every Friday night with ice cream or are you going out with friends, flirting with new prospects, and trying to make the most of your college experience? Even if you don’t necessarily feel ready to love again, the fact that you’re able to get fancy and talk to new boys or girls is GREAT! The key to getting back out there is forcing yourself to, until one day, when you realize you can have fun with or without a significant other. Then, when you least expect it, it’ll happen again!

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