Hello everyone. My name is Collette Small. I am a senior at the University of Delaware working towards my B.S. in Marketing with minors in International Business and Advertising. Right now I am on track for graduating in Spring of 2015. I am part of multiple organizations on campus. To name a few, Chi Omega Fraternity and the Blue Hen Leadership Program. I absolutely love to travel, and I plan on looking for some job opportunities abroad. In my spare time I also love to read, write, and run
As a senior in college, I have almost successfully made it through my college career without having a boyfriend. Now you may be wondering, “Who does this girl think she is giving me dating advice when she can’t get a date herself?” Well that’s a great question, and it wasn’t until the summer going into my senior year that I came up with the answer. The answer itself is quite simple: I don’t want one. So why would I be concerned with being single if I don’t want a boyfriend? That answer is a little more complicated.
My dating experience in high school was very different than college. Dating was easier, finding a boyfriend wasn’t as complicated, and when I was single, I was never actually concerned about being…single. Then college turned me from a dating guru into a bitter shrew. I went from having “great game” to questioning if I even knew how to make small talk with guys. My self-esteem started to plummet, and being single started to make me question if something was wrong with me. I became incredibly self-conscious around guys that weren’t my friends, and found it difficult to be myself. I spent too much time trying to be someone a guy wanted me to be, and not enough time letting a guy get to know the true me.
In high school, your life for the most part is relatively carefree. My parents were looking out for me, even when I wasn’t looking out for myself. They made sure I ate healthy, helped me stay on top of my homework, and they were for the most part fiscally responsible for me. Entering college turned my carefree lifestyle into a stress filled one. No one was there to make sure I was caring for my body, managing my finances, or staying on top of my work. I had to learn to become an adult, and in all honesty I had a hard time adjusting to this change. In fact, I still am adjusting.
So what does this have to do with dating? I came to the conclusion that I can’t care for someone else when I am still learning to care for myself. Not only are you learning to care for yourself in the present, but also you’re learning how to prepare yourself for the future. Before college, my biggest concern was what movie my boyfriend and I be seeing that weekend. Now, there are much more serious concerns like, “Will we be together after we graduate?” or “Is this the type of person I want to end up with?” With everything else becoming more complicated as we get older, dating is no exception to that rule. Of course there are plenty of people who date in college, and I am not suggesting that you shouldn’t! I am simply suggesting that the next time you find yourself in a “single slump”, don’t beat yourself up for it.
So for all my fellow single colligates out there, embrace it. Focus more on becoming the person you want to be rather than the person you want to be with. People always say your twenties are your selfish years, so go ahead and be selfish. Learn to love yourself more than anyone else, and when the time is right someone will come along who loves you just as much as you do.