Constantly fighting in a relationship is never a good sign. But we’re only human, and it’s impossible to get along with one person on every single topic in the world, isn’t it? In fact, sometimes having too much in common with your significant other could make for a very boring evening.
That’s why it’s actually OK to have a few fights with your beau. I know what you’re thinking – why would I want to start drama with my boyfriend/girlfriend? Well I’m not saying to go off causing problems for no reason. What I am saying is that when an argument arises, there are certain topics that it is healthy to disagree on.
There’s the “supportive” fight – the fight that stems from someone not sticking to an individual goal and the other egging them on for it. For example, say your boyfriend who is aiming to get a 4.0 this semester fails his big exam Monday as a result of partying Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. A supportive girlfriend would get angry with him, but only because he should really be angry with himself.
There’s the “agree to disagree” fight. There will always be something the two of you just can’t agree on. Whether it’s as small as what toppings the two of you want to order on your Wednesday night pizza, just let it go. The one thing you can agree on is how to resolve the issue. Aim for a win-win, constructive solution every time this comes up. Like, go halfsies on that pie.
Another common college relationship fight is the “time spent together” one. Someone is going to want to spend every waking minute with the other (if not both of you). If this happens, calmly “argue” about how space is important in fostering each other’s individual growth at school.
Last but not least, there’s the “sexual” fight. Science says that your teens and twenties are your peak sexual years. But not all of us like to act on our biological programming. If your gal or guy is pushing you to do something you’re uncomfortable with, call ‘em out! And don’t feel bad about it. After all, that’s your body they’re trying to mess with. If your S.O. persists even after you say no, you may want to consider their real M.O.
Luckily, you’re only in a college relationship and not in a real-world marriage where the fights could revolve around money, kids and in-laws. So take a step back when the two of you really, really disagree on something. Is this something petty that you two could easily work out? Or is this such a big deal that it’s holding you back from living up your college years? Remember, college is a time to have fun, and if you fight with your guy or gal, fight fair!