Roommates and Boyfriends

The blog post “Dealing with College Roommates” gives tips on how to approach a new roommate in the hopes of setting a foundation for a good relationship. It also mentions what to do if you are stuck with a wild woman and how to deal with it and how to stand up for yourself.
However you might be really lucky and have a roommate that you get along with, but there is one more potential sticky subject. Boyfriends. There is not much privacy in college and if either one of you, or both, have boyfriends, that small college dorm is going to start feeling a lot smaller.
Sock on the Doorknob Doesn’t Cut It
There is the age old joke about dorms and a sock on the doorknob. But let’s get real here and be adults. Talk to your roommate openly about boyfriend policies you both can agree on. You need to hash out what is acceptable for both of you.
How Often Boyfriends are Around
Dorm rooms are small and offer very little in the way of privacy. Therefore both you and your roommate need to respect each other’s need for privacy. No girl wants to step out of the shower with only a towel wrapped around her and run into someone else’s boyfriend. Or worse, be in the middle of changing only to have a roommate plus boyfriend storming in.
Negotiate with your roommate about how often and during what times of day boyfriends are welcome. A boyfriend in your room every single day who isn’t yours is no fun.

Break Up the Visits

Talk to your roommate and be smart about visits. Make a plan for the upcoming days so that both of you get the privacy you need and want. For example, mention that you will be at your boyfriend’s dorm Monday and Wednesday, and therefore it would be a good idea if her boyfriend was in your shared room while you were away. Also talk about weekends openly. If she plans to visit family for a weekend, it would be nice for her to let you know ahead of time so that you and your boyfriend can enjoy a nice relaxing time with just each other at your place.

If Your Roommate’s Boyfriend is Creepy

You might find yourself in the unfortunate situation where you find your roommate’s boyfriend creepy. When you know he’s there, you make a mad dash for the door to just get out and away. This is not an acceptable situation. In the end the dorm is your space and it’s part of your tuition fee. Since you’re paying for it, you get a say about who hangs out there. Be very gentle when discussing with your roommate that you aren’t comfortable with her boyfriend being around and help her find some alternative places to hang out with him.

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