Sluttier is Not Sexier

I think the title is pretty self-explanatory, but some girls beg to differ. With hormones raging just as much as they were in high school, no parental supervision, and alcohol now playing a role in the picture, it is easy to get lost in the broad spectrum of ways to impress guys once you are in college. From how you dress to how you talk to or act while you are around them, the signals you send may not be read by men the way you would think. Here are some tips that may help you distinguish between outfits or texts that say ‘you know you want me’ versus ‘I want you no matter what it takes’. And trust me, depending on which category a guy places you in, this could make all the difference in your relationship with him moving forward.

Let’s start with how you dress. If you think that a black mini skirt and the tightest or smallest top you own make the perfect outfit for a party, then you might need to readjust your ideas of what you define as sexy. What I usually follow is a simple trick: boobs or legs. If I’m going to wear a shirt that reveals some cleavage, then I don’t wear anything short; I stick to jeans or leggings. It’s possible to wear a long-sleeved shirt with a bit of a dip (or V-neck) over leggings and still look absolutely adorable if you match it up with sexy heels. For those of you attending a college where it’s summertime year round, you can wear shorts and heels but be careful with your selection of blouses since the men on your campus are already used to seeing a lot of skin. You want to make them wonder about you, not see it all before they even get your name. Another hint is to be playful with your hair. The neck is a sensual part of the body, so a ponytail or updo is a creative way to grab a guy’s attention without being too sexual with your clothing. Earrings, perfume, and the material of your apparel (lace, silk, velvet) can drive a guy wild!

Alright, next are some essentials about communicating via text and phone calls. I want to strictly say one thing: wait for him to initiate. If you initiate, and he begins to show interest, then great, but you need to stay mysterious so let him take control from there. He should call you, set up the dates, ask about your interests, etc. Guys do not want to be suffocated, and because girls often do now know that they are being too needy or annoying, I think they should leave the talking to the guys for the first part of the relationship. Especially since it’s not even a relationship yet. Texting can easily become desperation or harassment territory because of all the logistics involved-phone turned off, reply times versus send time, worrying if someone else is in the picture, and much worse. Just be calm. There is nothing sexy about bothering a guy over the phone or in person-let things take their course. And if you’re wondering where the slutty part comes into play, it is by sending too many naked pictures. Some guys like it, some guys may just see it as you being easy. Take your time!

For men, what is sexy is what turns them on without them realizing it, or something that keeps you on their mind even after you are gone. It could be your perfume scent, the way you twirled your hair, or said his name, or beat his friends in that poker game. Your cleavage barely snuggled in a dress that could belong to a stripper or your reputation as the girl who will sleep with anyone that calls her pretty is not going to keep you on his mind for longer than the time it takes to get you in his bed and then quickly out of it. If that’s what you’re looking for, then by all means, flaunt until you get what you want. But if the relationship you want with the guy you have been crushing on since freshman orientation consists of more than a blurred night with sporadic scenes of beer pong games, sweaty people, a dirty fraternity bathroom, and an embarrassing moment when he attempts to remember your name in the morning as you leave, then take my advice.

Stay sexy, not slutty.

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