Trust is everything in a relationship: a sturdy foundation, a reliable backbone, a healthy security – you get the point. But are there things one should resist from telling their significant other?
The answer is yes. But it’s a flexible yes. You see, the only times you should hold in information are when you’re not trying to hurt your partner’s feelings, or, if they were to find out your white lie, the relationship would not end over it. For example…
That the reason you never wear their present is because you don’t like it.
That one time you told your boyfriend you thought squirrels were cute resulted in him buying you an “I heart Squirrels” tee for Christmas. Now, if you don’t wear it you make the mistake of them thinking you don’t like it (even though it’s not really a mistake…).
But what’s more important: not wearing the present and hurting your partner’s feelings or wearing the present and putting your pride aside for your partner? Put all your selfishness aside and put on that squirrel shirt my friend!
The “things” you used to do with your ex… make that ANYTHING about your ex!
NO ONE likes to be compared to a past love. Hello! Are you purposely trying to hit them below the belt? Saying things like “my ex and I used to do…” or “I used to love it when my ex and I…” is like striking an arrow through your lover’s chest.
Imagine how you’d feel if your boy or girl said something like that to you. Automatically you’d start comparing you to their past – and the past always wins. It’s human nature. And it hurts like hell and can’t be reversed.
If you’re a woman: your insecurities; if you’re a man: things about your ex.
Can I make the ‘never talk about your ex’ rule any clearer? Boys, ladies are way more sensitive than you! Obviously boys don’t want to hear about their girls’ exes either, but fire sparks much, much quicker when it’s the boy doing the talking. So my male friends, keep the past in the past if you want to keep your present.
Ladies, boys are not to be used the same as you would your girlfriends or a therapist. They don’t understand your insecurities, nor do they want to. If you’ve got a good one, he’ll happily listen to your complaints. But don’t count on him to solve ‘em!