When Your Friend’s Significant Other is Bad News…

Alexa Johnson

When your boyfriend is bad news and you know it, it is oh-so easy to deny it. How, oh how, could this amazing and wonderful man-friend lie, cheat and/or steal from me?

Now, when it’s your best friend on the other hand, it’s a completely different story. Suddenly, everything appears so clear! That boy is nothing but a lying, cheating stealing pig. Funny how once the roles reverse the answers become so simple, isn’t it?

So let’s talk about your friend. He/she is a mess. Either they know their significant other is bad news and they don’t want to believe it, or they know their significant other is bad news and ignore it and become a depressed mess of life. It sucks to watch your bestie get continuously hurt by a boyfriend/girlfriend. Especially when the evidence their lover did wrong is so clear and the path to happiness so obvious! If you know your best friend’s guy/gal is bad news and want to help them, remember these three tips…

Avoid badmouthing the culprit… too much – Chances are at one point or another (say, when your friend first started dating this person) you did like them. Maybe you went on double dates together. Maybe you thought he told great jokes and could’ve been “the one” to her.

Remember, you weren’t the one that dated them! And your friend fell in love. Can you blame her/him? People wear rose-tinted glasses in the beginning of relationships. If for some, miraculous reason your friend decides to stick it out with this person, even marry them, then you have no choice but to accept their decision and get along with this person. Never burn your bridges.

Let your friend come to the answer on their own – You can tell your friend as much as you want: “he’s a bad guy,” “I saw her with another boy,” “they hit on me!” etc. But no matter how hard you try to get it through her head, she probably won’t take your advice. Sure she’ll agree with you, declare she’s going to change or leave him, but trust me, she’s just telling you what you want to hear. When someone does something wrong and hurtful to you, you need to come to the epiphany on your own. It’s the only way it’ll stick! You can’t change a person; they need to want to change themselves. Trust that one day she will see the forest through the trees.

Be a friend a.k.a. their support system – Until then, wait. And do the best thing that you can for him/her: be a friend! A true friend is someone that will support your decisions no matter what. Let your friend make their mistakes. They’ll learn.

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