College dating tips

By Jules Stevens

Dating in college seems ideal. Some people become engaged to their high school sweethearts, and that tinder hookup went better than expected. But what if you are one of the many who cant seem to get a grip on this dating scene. We all see our friends having a blast with their significant other, getting married and having kids, and the world seems like such a blast and perfect for them. But to your dismay, you are not one of them. You might be one of the introverted, shy, bookworms who find solace in the comfort of your own home. Your social life IS school, and when you go out it’s for groceries and the occasional need to get away from your cave for some fresh air. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. For some reason the idea of needing to be in a relationship to be happy is drilled in our heads. Maybe it’s because when people find their significant other, they seem to disappear, and all you see is their Facebook or Twitter posts saying “Boo and I at lunch having fun!” or, “Me and my Bae being cute LOL haha #sohappy!” And good for them! But since when has needing to prove you being in a happy and healthy relationship is the highlight of your life? What about that test you studied for all night and that hard work and dedication got you an A, or how you impressed your teacher by taking a risk when other students were nervous about getting an answer wrong? Maybe it’s not quite Facebook worthy, but at least you feel proud about it! But when your social life is school, how are you supposed to meet people? You can go ahead and date someone from class you’ve been eyeballing all semester, and maybe that will work out. But remember that the time and effort you are putting into getting that potential person to notice you, is time and effort you are taking away from the lecture. And if that potential turns out to be a mistake, you have to deal with them during class until the rest of the semester is over. That right there is distracting. Of course, there is online dating, and if you find the time and energy to put into that along with your schoolwork, then go for it! But online dating takes a lot of work. Dating in general takes a lot of work. So what if you decide not to date in college? Think of it this way; the average age people graduate is 27. Based on where you live, the average person gets married by 28. By the time you have a grasp on what works best for you, you might have already graduated. But in my opinion, the best time to share yourself with someone you can spend the rest of your life with is when you can spend time with yourself and be happy. If you are a woman and you want to start a family, you can do so until you are around 35 before fertility becomes a problem and if you are a man, consider yourself lucky. There is still time to date after college, and it may even be easier since you have a better sense of life and your career. If you are the type of person who tends to focus on one thing at a time, maybe it’s wise to focus on school before a relationship. In the long run, there will be a sense of stability that can take you far. Of course, loneliness does become a problem and life does get hard, and the idea of being able to rely on your significant other for support is ideal. But remember you aren’t alone. You have your friends, family, tinder, therapists and even social media to keep yourself company. All in all, do what you feel is best for you, and if things don’t turn out as planned just remember that everyone has their own pace and there are more options and paths you can take to get your life where you want.

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