You CAN Text First

Maddie Daly
I am a senior at the University of Notre Dame, majoring in English and French with a Business Economics minor.  I am interested in creative writing and plan to become a journalist in New York. I have just returned from studying abroad in France for the semester and have plenty of college wisdom to share!


It’s Sunday afternoon, you are still recovering from the fun of last night and all you can think about is the cute boy you were talking to all night.  Maybe you booked up or maybe you just took it slow, but by the end of the night you exchanged numbers and have yet to hear from him.  According to most girls, it would be absolutely unheard of to send him the first text; what if he thinks you’re crazy? Obsessed with him? Then he’ll never talk to you again, right? Wrong. Since when do we still live in an era where the men have all the pull in a relationship? In our generation, it is totally ok for the girl to approach the guy, text the guy first and even ask him out on the first date.  Sometimes guys even prefer this, especially when they are more on the shy side. What if he’s staring at his phone too, waiting for YOU to text HIM? He is probably just as nervous to shoot that first message, so why not impress him and take the initiative.


Now, you are still just getting to know this guy, so you should still tread carefully.  Start off simple, something like “Hey, it’s so-and-so, how’d the rest of your night go?” or “Hey so-and-so, remember me? Last night was fun.”  Just a little something to get the conversation rolling and to let him know you are thinking about him.  He will probably be relieved you took the pressure off him.


The next step is simply to wait.  If you have a phone with the option of seeing a “read receipt”, for your own sanity, turn it off.  If he sees your message and never responds, let it go.  Easier said them done, I know, but don’t dwell over this guy you met one time.  Maybe he actually has a girlfriend and didn’t mean to lead you on.  Or maybe, the worst-case scenario, he’s just not that into you.  Delete his number, stop stalking his Facebook profile and forget about him.


However, the chances are high that he will respond, and the two of you can continue right where you left off last night.  Of course, guys are not always so good with words, and they can come off as uninterested or bored.  Just keep it light and flirty, and maybe even hint about seeing each other again.  In the end, there is no harm done in texting him first – if he responds, great! If not, so what; he was probably just intimidated by you anyway.

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